My first outing with the girls (also known as the post with all the run-on sentences)

Today was a good day.

It had the potential to be scary awful because today was the day that I decided to take both girls off the premises... by myself.

Chloe Jane has officially passed the "potty training" stage and moved into the "she-knows-what-she's-doing-but-still-may-have-an-accident" phase. So today, in addition to being the day that we would all go out for the first time sans daddy, we also ventured out into the world without a diaper. Now, she has been to the playground and to church without a diaper, but, you know, that's like a 30 second walk from my home. Today, we actually took a taxi... to a mall. Can I confess I was just a LEEEETLE bit nervous that she would be too distracted to remember her diaper-free attire and that I would be stuck, alone, with two little girls, inthemall, inaforeigncountry, withmyhusbandmilesawayonsomefarmwithoutcellphoneservice...?

LEEEETLE bit nervous.

But my fears were laid to rest when, within the first 30 minutes, we made no less than three fruitless trips to the bathroom because she thought she "might" need to go. She's a cautious one, that one.

(Note to self: buy more hand sanitizer.)

All in all, it proved to be a wonderful outing for us girls. I purchased some much-needed do-dad items for my home from the oh-so-wonderful dollar store that should be called a magic store because of how cheap all the fabulous stuff is including but not limited to dishes, rugs, and cutsie aprons.

Where was I?

Oh yes. We went to the dollar store then spent a ridiculous amount of time in the kids section of the book store. Oh! One thing about book stores here: people treat them like libraries. It's so weird for me to walk into the store and see bookoos of Korean folk sitting on benches, chairs, and the floor reading their novels and magazines. Then, when they are finished reading, they just put the book back where they found it. As a result, some of the books have crinkled covers and dog-eared pages. Crazy, right?

So what did I do while Chloe Jane was playing/reading/terrorizing the children's book section? I plopped myself right down with a copy of Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is one of those books I would never actually spend money on because I'd be too afraid of what the salesclerk might think of me but which I would cower in the corner of the kids section and read while feigning interest in whatever book my child is thumbing through.

And since I'm a firm believer in the "when in Rome" principle, I put the book back... and doggy-eared the page I was on... because we might need to make a trip back to the bookstore tomorrow, you know, so Chloe can have another outing.

So after the oh-so-fabulous dollar store, and the bookstore/library, we headed to Mickie D's for some home cooking. And when I say home, I mean greasy American restaurant. And when I say cooking, I mean fried frozen patty covered with processed cheese and smothered in onions.

Only the classiest joints for my little girl.

After spending three point two minutes trying to open a toy that broke in one point six minutes, we scarfed down our french fries. At least, I scarfed. Chloe nibbled. On that note, can I just say that, while I have spent most of my adult life trying to convince myself that a french fry is, in fact, potato and therefore should qualify as a vegetable and therefore I should be able to eat as many as I want, I find it ironic that I spent most of our meal telling my two-year-old that they were not vegetables in an attempt to convince her to eat them. Surreouslay.

So... oh-so-fab dollar store, library/bookstore, McD's.

Oh! So then. Then! We're heading out of Mickie D's, broken toy in hand, when Chloe begins her first and only breakdown of the night.

After offering several guesses as to what had offended her, I finally informed her that I simply could not understand her when she, you know, acted like a heathen, and that she had to use her big-girl words if she wanted me to help her.

Then she said...

Wait for it...

"LEAVE MAPLE HEEEEERE!"

You want me to leave your sister at McDonald's?

"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!"

Um, no?

We have to take her home so she can see daddy tomorrow, just like Chloe.

Tears stopped. Hands clapped. Cheers rang out. Crisis averted.

And you thought I was kidding when I said she was bipolar...

So, that's pretty much it.

Dollar store, book store, McD's, home, Peter Pan, in the bed, sleepy head.

It was a good day.

'bout time.

So, like, totally cool....

It may come as a surprise to many of you that I was not part of the "in" crowd in my school days. I'm so popular now, it's hard to believe. I know, right? Wait... right?!

Man those crickets are loud today...

ANYwho...

I can remember wanting so badly to be one of "those" girls. I remember watching the way they walked, the way they said "seriously" like "surrreeouslay?", the way they fixed their hair in a messy-yet-somehow-super-cool bun on top of their heads, the way they didn't wear Nike's with their dresses. I knew what color eyeshadow each of them wore, and I knew which ones had initials on their Jansport bookbags... and which ones didn't.

(Come to think of it, maybe they didn't like me 'cause I was the weird kid who uncomfortably stared at them too much...)

Still, I remember trying so hard to do things just like they did. I started saying "surrrreeouslay?" more often than was necessary in one lifetime. I tried to throw my hair up in a messy bun. I begged my mom for new eye shadow from WalMart. And, yes friends, I even gave up much of my Christmas present budget to buy a hunter-green over-priced Jansport.

But my attempts came out more like "sayree-uhslee?" because I was just too country. (Was?) My "messy bun" was actually a thick, frizzy beehive. WalMart's electric blue eye shadow is NOT Claire's icy-blue glitter eyeshadow, no matter how much I wanted to believe it was the same. And apparently, Jansport book bags went out of style 3.2 days before I got one.

No matter how hard I tried or how much I changed my clothes, my hair, my vocabulary, or my book bag... I never had that "it" factor that would grant me access into their magical secret circle. I wasn't one of "them," and I didn't know the code for how to become one.

It was hard.

So here I sit, at 25 years old, totally confident in who I am. I like my hair. I like my clothes. I like the way I talk and yeehaw! do I like my purses! So, you know, it's all good, right? All those insecurities of trying to fit in with the "popular" crowd flew out the window the day I graduated, yes?

If only...

Today there's a whole different "in" crowd, and I can't seem to break their code either. I wear white flowy skirts with simple flats. I slick my hair back into a tidy low ponytail. I put 102 bows in my daughter's hair (kidding, I only put 98). I bow and smile and try to look demure. I speak softly and try not to show too much emotion.

But I'm missing something... that "it" thing that would make me "one of them."

Sure, there's a language barrier. But there's also this massive, awesome, insurmountable cultural barrier that I have no idea how to overcome.

And when a group of them stand together and toss my name around like a hot potato, knowing that I can't understand what they're saying...

Well, it stings a little.

And when a couple of them in the group could interpret that conversation and choose not to...

Well, it stings a lot.

So, just like in middle school, I am left watching their every move and trying to mimic them with the hopes of gaining an invitation to their next sleepover... or trip to the grocery store. But, unlike in middle school, I don't think any of them are intentionally trying to be cruel. I think they are just as lost as I am as to how they can cross that cultural barrier.

And it is still hard.

But through it all, I am reminded of a verse that has served as my motto for 2009:

Great peace have they which love Thy Law: and nothing shall offend them.
Psalms 119:165

Because I do. I love His Word. It has been my constant comfort during my time here. And so I REFUSE to be offended by these circumstances... and by these people.

So I'm not offended... but I am discouraged. And that's the honest truth.

Let no foreigner who has bound himself to the LORD say, "The LORD will surely exclude me from his people."
Isaiah 56:3


And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD to serve him, to love the name of the LORD, and to worship him, all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it and who hold fast to my covenant- these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations."
Isaiah 56:6-7


By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
Hebrews 11:8-10

The least of these....

I want to shout about this from the rooftops. But my blog is as close as I can get.

Let's up the cuteness factor in here....

Chloe Jane has hit a definitively bipolar stage right now. One minute, she says and does the cutest things! I just want to eat her up! The next minute, well, lets just say she's a little too much like her mother in that minute.

But since her cuteness is what I would like to remember about this stage, here are some of my favorite cute moments. Cute.

1. We hung a pink mosquito net above her bed (which was more necessary than I care to think about. Dang monster mosquitoes.) Her response when she saw it: "Oh mommy! It's a mountain! I wish I could wear it!" Well, sure. What princess doesn't want to wear a mountain of pink tulle?

2. She has a stuffy nose most days, effectively transforming my name from mommy to "bobby." This is especially dear to my heart because my younger brother had the same nasal issues at this age; so my mom's permanent name (and the name we still call her to this day) became "Bob" or "Bobby." I can only hope to be a "Bobby" like her...

3. It has been months since she first said "I love you" as an echo to when her daddy or I said it. But in recent weeks, she has been saying it of her own initiative. I cherish those moments in my mommy's heart. Yesterday, she crawled up in my lap, held my face in both of her sweet, sticky hands and sighed, "Bobby, I lub you berry buch."

4. When I am distracted and don't answer her the first time, she flashes her dark chocolate eyes at me and says, "Bobby, aren't you listening to beee?"

5. Right now, her favorite toys are a medicine cup (the kind that come on top of the children's tylenol bottles) and a blue rubber bouncy ball that fits inside it. I'm not sure why she's so attached to these two items, and I can't tell you how many times a day I am sent in search of the blue ball that has, once again, escaped from the cup and rolled under a piece of furniture.

6. According to Chloe, the best part of "getting better" is that she can play with Maple again. I will say, "Are you feeling better?" Her response: "Yes! Now I can touch Maple!"

7. When Maple wakes up to eat, Chloe always strokes her face and said, "Hi baby Maple! How was your nap?"

8. Her favorite books are the Curious George books that Grandma and Grandpa sent her. She especially loves the one about the toy store and the hula-hoops. She calls it "the one with the hoo-hoos."

9. She has a little blow-up pool where she "swims" on really hot days. She calls it a "sphimming pub."

10. Her daddy is her favorite person in the world right now. He woke her up this morning and brought her to our bed to tell her that he was leaving for a few days (to go on another mission trip... I'll tell you about that later) and that he would be sleeping at a farm, but he would come back in a few days. I love the picture of him sitting there, eating is breakfast apple, and her sitting across from him, with her hand on his knee, looking very concerned. After he finished telling her everything, she was quiet and contemplative for a moment, and then finally said: "Is that your apple?" After a good chuckle, daddy gave her his apple and headed out the door. I laid in bed for a little while just watching her eat her apple and listening to her smack and talk about her daddy. "Daddy is going to a farm. (smack, smack, smack) He's gonna see pigs and horses. (crunch, smack, smack) But he cannot read bee a book when I go night-night. (smack, slurp) I don't want to go night-night! But bobby can read to bee. Then daddy will come home!! Yay!!! (smack, smack)" It was such a sweet moment.

So there it is: the cuteness of Chloe Jane. May I remember these moments as the trials of potty-training continue...

Are you ready for another rant? I know I am.

You may or may not know that I was a Political Science / International Affairs major in college. Though I don’t write much about it here, I have a loving, long-standing relationship with my soap box. And I tell you what, my soap box is getting worn out these days. I'm in the market for another one, if you know of a slightly used one for a good price.

Today's rant is about this bee that's been buzzing in my political bonnet since the beginning of last year. I know I'm a little late jumping on the Political Blogging Bandwagon, but I have intentionally withheld my opinions on these matters until WAY after the election because, quite frankly, this isn't that kind of political rant. I'm not promoting or rebuffing any political party, and I don't want it to be read that way.

No donkeys or elephants here, folks. I take issue with a horse of a different color. My problem is with a certain mindset that seems to permeate our church (particularly in the South, I think) And that mindset is this:

Good Christians vote Republican.

Now wait! WAIT! Don't leave me just yet. Here me out, and then feel free to leave and lambaste me to your friends and family should the desire remain.

It's not that I think good Christians vote Democrat, and it may be that after hearing all that I have to say, absolutely nothing about your core belief system will change.

But there is a serious problem with this mindset:

It hurts people. Often, when individuals make that statement - either through direct or implied methods - they are essentially saying, "If you voted for any other party or - heaven forbid - didn't vote at all, you did not do your Christian duty and, in some cases, sinned." I guess I don't have to say that this mindset might alienate some of our brothers and sisters in Christ. And while we are called to hold our spiritual siblings accountable, it should always be with the end goal of bringing them closer to the Lord and leading them away from sin.

If you can show me where voting non-republican is a sin, I'll eat my hats... all 12 of them.

Of course, there are issues where the Republican Party lines up with God’s Word, but that does not mean that those who don't vote the conservative way must not believe in the Bible. It may just mean that they see things a bit differently.

Let’s take, for example, the issue of abortion.

Obviously, this is an important issue to those Die-Hard-All-Christians-Are-Republican folks (henceforth referred to as DHACARs) because, you know, Republicans are pro-life. So, suppose there is this non-DHACAR (henceforth referred to as ND) who is unashamedly an anti-abortion, pro-life, "a person's a person, no matter how small" kind of individual. Suppose that the DHACAR and the ND agreed 100% on this point.

But suppose this Spirit-filled, God-loving, Bible-reading, Church-going, Tithe-giving, ND Christian saw things differently than the DHACAR. Suppose she says: in the last 28 years, Republicans have held the Presidential power for 20 of them, yet abortion still remains legal. So despite the talk they're talking, the Republican Party isn't doing the walking when it comes to abortion (at least, in this particular ND's opinion). So, for this ND, the issue of abortion is a draw: Neither party will do anything extreme regarding abortion and risk alienating their on-the-fence voters. This may be an over-simplification, but I'm writing a blog here, not a book.

Your welcome.

So, if abortion is a draw at present, suppose this ND considers other Biblical directives - like stewardship of the earth and caring for the poor, the orphan, the widow, and the alien. Suppose this particular ND believes just as strongly as the DHACAR that we must follow Biblical directives, but suppose this ND also believes that the Republican Party will not do this as well as another party.

Does that make the ND less Christian than the DHACAR? Don't they both believe in the God-breathed infallibility of Scriptural directives? Of course! Their opinions only differ regarding who will best fulfill those directives within their government.

If this is true, then do you see why I take issue with the DHACAR mindset? It does not edify the church. It does not bring people closer to Christ. It does not promote unity within the body. It alienates. And confuses. And hurts.

Once again, I’m not promoting or rebuffing any particular political party. This isn’t about party politics. This is about love. About us, as Christians, loving on and encouraging our brothers and sisters. About recognizing that there is a difference between political opinions and Biblical directives.

So talk about your thoughts on taxes and welfare all you want. Rant. Rave. Huff. And Puff.

But do it in love. And remember, just because you sit next to someone in church, don't assume they believe exactly as you do about the Israeli/Palestinian crisis. Or illegal aliens. Or food stamps.

‘Cause you know what happens when you assume…


*image courtesy of joespooner.com

Well, this is new....

I have never been a person to stay in the same place for long. I love to travel, to meet people, to experience new things.

In high school, I spent two summers in a row traveling around the southeast with a Christian drama company that I met for the first time two weeks before I left with them.

For my college choice, I wanted anything outside of Georgia, but close enough to where I could see Brandon once month or so. I ended up in Cleveland, Tennessee.

And, you know, there's the whole move-my-family-to-the-other-side-of-the-world thing that happened this year.

And through all my travels, though there were certain things and people that I missed while I was gone, I have never, not one time, never, ever felt truly homesick...

...until now.

I'm ready to go home, y'all.

Nothing in particular has happened. And I still feel a complete peace that where we are right now is where we are supposed to be.

But that doesn't change the fact that I miss being home in the U.S.

I miss English conversations in person.
I miss Publix.
More than that, I miss DRIVING to Publix.
Even more than that, I miss DRIVING through the Jittery Joe's drive-through on my way to Publix.
I miss going to a church where I can lift my hands and worship in freedom.
I miss clothes shopping. Seriously, all my clothes are looking a bit... frumpy.
I miss TLC and Food Network.
I miss the privacy of living in my own home.
I miss getting in the car and seeing family whenever I like.
I miss yard sales.
More than that, I miss going to yard sales with my mom.
I miss visiting with my grandparents.
I miss hamburgers.

This is a weird phenomenon for me. I have never felt this way before, and it has been an interesting journey this week as I have walked my way through all these emotions.

What is even more interesting to me is that Brandon has been feeling the exact same way (although, I'm sure he misses different things than I do). Still, we're both missing home.

The last couple days have been particularly difficult, perhaps because I was expecting a little much-needed reprieve from our routine, only to have it swiped from within my grasp at the last minute.

Like yesterday. I had planned a child-free lunch (to Outback Steakhouse!) with my good friend Eun-Young. I have not had an adults-only outing in over 10 weeks (since before Maple was born); so I was REALLY looking forward to leaving the little ones at home for a couple hours while I enjoyed a nice lunch. But alas! At yesterday's morning meeting, my the free babysitter (a.k.a. daddy) was "invited" to join a couple of the pastors on an outing, which I will discuss later because I'm not the least bit salty over the fact that he got to do this really cool adults-only thing while I was stuck wiping peanut butter off the back of the couch for the fourth time.

Not the least bit salty.

So, rather than cancel the lunch, I packed up the two little girls and headed out for a taxi. We did end up having a great time, despite the fact that I spent more than half of my lunch time entertaining Chloe or holding Maple.

*le sigh*

And then there's this morning. This morning I awoke quite excited about all the goings-ons outside my window. Ladies, gentlemen, and children alike were blowing up balloons, hanging banners, putting tarp on the playground and chattering happily while setting up for (wait for it...) Kids Camp! This camp has been going on for a couple days now, but we haven't attended because TODAY was focused only on Chloe's age group. They turned a corner of the playground into a swimming pool slash water slide. They had games and food set up inside their classroom. Balloons bounced around in the breeze. The weather was overcast and warm with a slight breeze. This was going to be a FU-HUN day. But alas! Chloe woke up with a temperature of 100.3. She's sick. A.GAIN. So, when at 8:45am my friend the Samonim called to remind me camp started at 9:00am, I was very VERY sad to inform her that we would watch from our window because Chloe was sick. A.GAIN. And that's what we have done this morning. We watched children from the window, skyped with the grandparents, enjoyed a peanut butter sandwich, and took a fitful two-hour nap. Because Chloe is sick. A.GAIN.

Not the least bit salty, I tell you.

So. Yeah. It has been a difficult week.

I wish I had some great spiritual revelation about how longing for home has reminded me about how we Christians long for heaven. Or about how feeling disappointment reminds me that God is my only constant. Or about how smelling like spit-up reminds me of how sin taints all our senses. Or about how making lemonade is the thing to do when life gives you lemons.

But Alas! I have no such tidy metaphorical wrap-up.

I'm just sayin' it's hard this week. Next week will be better, I'm sure.

Until then, I will try not to post any more entries like this. Because, although misery loves company, the company might be bored by misery.

Yeah. That's my deep thought for the day.

For Women Only...

This is an amazing word from Graham Cook. I have heard it before, but my friend Starr posted the video on her facebook. So good.

Still, it's for women only because some of the pictures would be too immodest for men. Enjoy, ladies!